if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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