Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
