This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
