but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i now understand why vodka
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
