They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Terrible idea I love it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
