Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
