Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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