her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
