brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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