Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My feet surprised me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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