Pappa wants mamma naked
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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