are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just cut my nipple shaving
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize