So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I need to calm my uterus...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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