giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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