You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
