i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
