she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
