On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
