please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
