Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
