Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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