My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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