sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
