i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
