i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
id be glad to
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
