I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
one might say we're banned from that church
you would pick up someone in the library
i just sent this text using only my big toe
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All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
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It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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