dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
