She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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