I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
