I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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