it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
