If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
