do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
