Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
