how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
