Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
