If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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