it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
