Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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