Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
