Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i think my cat just said my name.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
