I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
