When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
