arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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