Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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