Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
