I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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