Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
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IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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