i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
this beer tastes like vomit already
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
