look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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