1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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