That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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