He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
