as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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