i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
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I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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