also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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