my phone needs a breathalizer
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize