Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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