I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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