Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!