Texts From Last Night

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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule

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  (906): Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule http://tfl.nu/j8zx
  Replies (1) Good night (1374) Bad night (597)
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  (707): View more from California

  so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?

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  (707): so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal? http://tfl.nu/w2t0
  Replies (27) Good night (1124) Bad night (3294)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it

  (917): View more from New York City

  the suitcase or the dildo?

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  (312): i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it (917): the suitcase or the dildo? http://tfl.nu/j1en
  Replies (39) Good night (10396) Bad night (1742)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3530) Bad night (1184)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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  (+44): just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown. (+44): before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN http://tfl.nu/72q0
  Replies (28) Good night (8829) Bad night (1538)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub

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  (817): And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub http://tfl.nu/i3vc
  Replies (7) Good night (1093) Bad night (3377)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance

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  (207): i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance http://tfl.nu/4kjn
  Replies (3) Good night (3737) Bad night (831)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.

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  (913): You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals. http://tfl.nu/ise6
  Replies (9) Good night (4568) Bad night (1348)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs

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  (678): Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs http://tfl.nu/z2xs
  Replies (2) Good night (1289) Bad night (2051)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw

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  (+61): Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw http://tfl.nu/i9kl
  Replies (10) Good night (1508) Bad night (758)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"

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  (616): He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!" http://tfl.nu/zjl5
  Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (539)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.

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  (412): I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn. http://tfl.nu/rnnm
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (376)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The uberlube is also flammable

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  (585): The uberlube is also flammable http://tfl.nu/uc5d
  Replies (4) Good night (340) Bad night (456)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me

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  (404): i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me http://tfl.nu/xepk
  Replies (3) Good night (917) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...

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  (731): I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples... http://tfl.nu/2rg4
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (236)

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