D3 body, D1 cock
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present