Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  wat bout pragnant strippers??

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  (815)wat bout pragnant strippers?? http://tfl.nu/yg4y
  Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain

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  (925): You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain http://tfl.nu/anwf
  Replies (16) Good night (2599) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS

  (210): View more from Texas

  Put my glitter back.

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  (214): Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS (210): Put my glitter back. http://tfl.nu/4pgc
  Replies (16) Good night (3106) Bad night (495)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.

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  (678): Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth. http://tfl.nu/wet5
  Replies (9) Good night (596) Bad night (3206) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.

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  (405): There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS. http://tfl.nu/dubs
  Replies (59) Good night (6962) Bad night (1310) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.

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  (610): I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace. http://tfl.nu/hmhd
  Replies (48) Good night (7474) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem

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  (704): the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem http://tfl.nu/ycgy
  Replies (10) Good night (3840) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something

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  (516): I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something http://tfl.nu/tuha
  Replies (24) Good night (3770) Bad night (898) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone

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  (219): By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone http://tfl.nu/czmq
  Replies (8) Good night (3962) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot

  (313): View more from Michigan

  He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all

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  (313): I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot (313): He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all http://tfl.nu/6st3
  Replies (23) Good night (7546) Bad night (745)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i would one night stand the shit outta him

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  (443): i would one night stand the shit outta him http://tfl.nu/aljg
  Replies (11) Good night (5472) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.

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  (253): thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever. http://tfl.nu/km2f
  Replies (4) Good night (2961) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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  (360): You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right? http://tfl.nu/c6gn
  Replies (10) Good night (2484) Bad night (986) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka

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  (913): I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka http://tfl.nu/3gfs
  Replies (5) Good night (2027) Bad night (702) Order T-Shirt
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  (283): View more from Ohio

  by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?

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  (283): by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours? http://tfl.nu/2a7f
  Replies (6) Good night (1825) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt

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