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• (913): View more from Kansas

  Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.

  Fav 26 2752 861

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• (817): View more from Texas

  So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much

  Fav 2 794 2421

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there

  Fav 4 2279 803

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• (212): View more from New York

  mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.

  Fav 14 1180 3964

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  23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.

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