Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series

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  (510): I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series http://tfl.nu/wka4
  Replies (95) Good night (1096) Bad night (3575)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Are you with Adam and his vodka?

  (1-516): View more from New York

  Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued

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  (516): Are you with Adam and his vodka? (1-516): Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued http://tfl.nu/0qde
  Replies (29) Good night (4177) Bad night (570)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.

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  (917): we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer. http://tfl.nu/ibyr
  Replies (20) Good night (3664) Bad night (1494)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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  (847): Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess http://tfl.nu/s4vr
  Replies (7) Good night (862) Bad night (3787)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

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  (908): did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp. http://tfl.nu/a6do
  Replies (41) Good night (21227) Bad night (1122)
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  (530): View more from California

  Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud

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  (530): Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud http://tfl.nu/4tef
  Replies (18) Good night (5134) Bad night (860)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  Actions speak louder than pants.

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  (865): Actions speak louder than pants. http://tfl.nu/3ga3
  Replies (12) Good night (5070) Bad night (1058)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"

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  (519): I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position" http://tfl.nu/0g0v
  Replies (8) Good night (4414) Bad night (956)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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  (978): Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season http://tfl.nu/bvhl
  Replies (4) Good night (2377) Bad night (658)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.

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  (208): i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful. http://tfl.nu/r6g5
  Replies (3) Good night (517) Bad night (1825)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Slow dancing with the chandelier.

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  (828): Slow dancing with the chandelier. http://tfl.nu/w34r
  Replies (4) Good night (1082) Bad night (546)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"

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  (443): My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch" http://tfl.nu/szrk
  Replies (4) Good night (1488) Bad night (450)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.

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  (248): Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels. http://tfl.nu/9jex
  Replies (4) Good night (1301) Bad night (335)
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  (516): View more from New York

  you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?

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  (516): you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call? http://tfl.nu/y8f9
  Replies (5) Good night (216) Bad night (606)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship

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  (414): it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship http://tfl.nu/ya21
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (205)

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