I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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