You can't special order awesome
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy