I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
